Already Gone
by thehollowheart
Summary: A story of Conan and Haibara but I won't give away the summary too much. Oneshot.


**ALREADY GONE**

**A/N:** Hi everyone! :D Anyway, this is the second time I write stories about Detective Conan/Case Closed, and I know I'm such a terrible writer *cough*, so I don't mind for hates and flames. Actually this story is based on a song 'Cry' sung by Mandy Moore, but I choose one of Kelly Clarkson's songs 'Already Gone' for the title because I feel quite fit in. Well, maybe I'm just a confusing person -_- Gomen!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Detective Conan or the characters, Aoyama-sensei does. About the photo, I DO NOT own it, it's from tumblr but I EDITED it.

**WARNING:** English is not my first language, so I apologize if there are lots of grammatical errors or confusing sentences. I'm just letting my poor English ruin this story.

* * *

Conan's POV

"So, will you tell me why we're here?" I asked bewilderedly. The blonde-haired girl next to me was looking concretely to some mysterious spot behind the evergreen trees. We sat on the grass at Beika's Park, just watching the sunset and the people walking around to do their things.

Haibara turned her head to face me. "Hmm?" she hummed.

I snorted. "What are we doing here, Haibara?"

"Do? Nothing," she replied simply, taking her gaze back to the twilight sky. "I just like to sit here and watch the sky, that's all."

"Well, then why I have to come with you?" I didn't even try to disguise the surprise tone in my voice. Haibara just ignored it and shrugged.

"I don't know," she said, "It's just… nice to have someone beside me when I come back to the place where Akemi-neechan and I used to come."

Oh…

Even though I had known her for almost a year, I still didn't know her well enough. Unlike Ran, Haibara was difficult to read, her mind and heart was full of empty hollow places and untouchable roads. She would always be a mystery for me, a case that would never be solved. Haibara's expression was motionless and bored as usual, but there's something inside her eyes bothered me. I knew she was sad, but she covered it very well. After all, she was such a good actress.

"I'm sorry," I said, barely above a whisper.

She smiled. "Don't be."

I nodded. We didn't say anything for a moment, just enjoying each other's presents and staring into the unlimited dusk sky. A small breeze swept my hair, tickling my skin like small fingers. We could stay like this forever, sitting quietly and doing nothing, but she decided to break the silence.

"I'm just wondering, Kudo, what will happen if I was no longer exist in this world?" she asked, her eyes locked into the stars that shining dimly in the sea of grey. "Will I meet onee-chan, okaa-san, and otou-san again?"

"Haibara, don't talk nonsense," I looked at her and took her arm, "You will meet them again, but it's a far years from now—when you're old, when _we_ are old. First, we have to break down this organization, and you'll make the antidote, and—"

"The antidote…" she breathed, cut me off in the middle of the sentences, "Do you really want it, Kudo-kun? That bad?"

"What do you mean?" I snapped, instinctively pulled my hand off hers. "There's no antidote?"

"No, it's not that," she sighed, her eyes looked darker that it was before. "I'm just… curious."

I inhaled deeply, eventually my heart filled with relieved and optimistic. "Well, of course I want it. Don't you want it too, Haibara? Or should I call you Shiho?"

Her body stiffened when she heard her real name. "Shiho… nobody called me with that name for a long time," she whispered.

I smirked. "Me too, I mean, no one knows I'm Shinichi except you, Hakase, and Hattori." I shrugged, but then continued, "Anyway it's late now. Ran's cooking some ramen tonight, and I'm pretty sure she'll make enough for an army. Come, you'll love it!" I exclaimed as I stood up, holding my hand out to help her up. Haibara looked at my hand and then up at me. She looked hesitate for a while but then disregarding my hand and stood up by her own.

"Welcome," I mumbled to myself, shoving my unused hand into my pocket.

* * *

Third's POV

Haibara often thought about her life for these eighteen years.

Like now, she was sitting on her chair in the basement, her azure eyes were staring at the monitor but she didn't give a slightest attention to it. Her mind was racing away to some certain parts in the past, the memories that would never be erased in her mind.

She thought about her life as Shiho Miyano.

She thought about her family—Akemi-neechan, otou-san, okaa-san.

She thought about the Black Organization (and it often made her scared).

Her memories changed…

Now she was just a primary school girl, Haibara Ai.

She thought about his stepfather, Hakase Agasa.

She thought about The Shonen Tantei—Ayumi-chan, Mitsuhiko-kun, Genta-kun, and…

and…

Conan-kun. Conan Edogawa-kun.

Conan Edogawa, who was actually a shrunken famous detective, Shinichi Kudo—He shared the same fate as her. They were destined to meet each other, to share the same _bad luck_.

Serendipity, but it's not a fortunate accident. So it must be a _twisted_ serendipity.

Shinichi had Ran, he loved her and so did she. Haibara knew Kudo-kun long enough to realize that his feelings for Ran would never die. And about Ran Mouri, well she's just a common girl with common thoughts, live in her own not-so-fairytale life. A place where a girl fell in love with her childhood friend, and fortunately the boy loved her too. One day they would be married and live happily ever after. Happy ending… It's just simple, right?

Then Haibara came, ruining this simple story with her poisonous, dreadful drug.

She never wanted to do that. She swore she'd do anything to change it back. _Anything_. But as always, life seemed to be so cruel to her. Ever since Akemi-neechan died, Shiho had trouble connecting with other people. Akemi was her sister, her best friend, her colleague, and the person she could always turn to. But that damn Black Organization even took her sister away and made her life worthless. This was one thing people always misinterpreted about Shiho (or Haibara), that her coldness meant she didn't care for anyone but herself. That was completely untrue.

Just then Kudo came along and she felt better. Kudo treated her as a friend, as a companion—everything she always needed to. Somebody who wouldn't be frighten away by her bitter personality. It was nice until…

Well, until Haibara realized her feelings for Kudo. Shinichi Kudo.

She never admitted it. Hell, she wouldn't be called 'The Ice Queen' Haibara if she admitted that she's in love. She was doing all she could to hide her feelings, her thoughts, her emotions and close herself off from everyone. But every time she was alone, she would unconsciously cry over her miserable life—Akemi-neechan's death, her parent's death, her being hunt down by a cold-blooded organization called 'Black Organization', and Conan.

Haibara closed her eyes and let her mind stray, blocking out the sound emitted by the night creatures outside. It was raining, she could tell from the soft drumming noise on the roof. She kept herself busy with the antidote because she needed something to distract her mind. She had to finish it as soon as possible. She had to finish it for Kudo.

Screw Kudo.

Light tears slipped from her eyes and tracking down her cheeks, but she suddenly wiped them away before they finally touched the ground. She didn't realize that someone was standing at the door, watching her with concern in his eyes. He was about to call Haibara out for dinner, but then he snapped his mouth shut when he saw the tears, even just for a second.

It was Conan—or you might call him, Shinichi Kudo.

* * *

Haibara's POV

It all happened to fast.

Conan was standing a half meter away from me when Gin pulled the trigger. He stood there, eyes closed, and preparing himself on the bullet that was about to strike his heart. Gin was going to kill him, but I couldn't let him do that. If he died, there's no use for me to live anymore. If he died, there'd be no one left for me. If he died… my life would also die.

So I ran to him.

Everything went blur. I heard Conan's gasp behind me and suddenly my body was in pain. I screamed aloud and desperately trying to keep on standing. My head was so dizzy and now I had trouble breathing. I clutched my sleeve tightly and tried to rip it, hoping it would lessen the pain. But no, it didn't work.

Then I fell.

"Haibara," I heard Conan's voice beside me. His voice was broken and hoarse, but yet so beautiful. Just then I felt a warm hand below my rib cage, and the other one was on my cheek. He leaned closer so he could see me more clearly. "Haibara, do you hear me?"

"Kud… Kudo," I tried to speak. "Don… Gin… Don't forget…"

"Sshh," Conan cut me off, tears slipped from his eyes. "It's okay. He run away but Jodie-sensei, Shuichi Akai, and the police was wresting him to the ground. We're safe."

_We're safe._

I smiled. Akemi-neechan finally got her revenge. Kudo-kun finally got his revenge. Everyone who was being played by the Black Organization finally got their revenge. Conan's raven locks were all messed up, bruises and cuts all over his body, his shirt torn, but somehow he looked handsome. I touched his hand below my rib cage where the pain hurt most, then my fingers felt a wet thing all over it. It was blood. Blood everywhere.

"Why do you save me?" Conan asked in a whisper, his hand patted my head slowly.

"I don't… want you… to… die for… me." I coughed blood.

Conan's lips tightened as he traced his fingers on my lips to wipe the blood. "Then don't you dare die here, Haibara, or I'll never forgive myself! It should be me who was bleeding here, not you!" he shouted. Now he was fully crying.

"Kudo… don't cry," I whispered between my broken breaths.

"I didn't keep my promise! I didn't… I didn't protect you, dammit!" he was cradling my body, his torn shirt was stained with blood. Maybe it was my blood.

"You did… keep it." I mumbled. "I do… it bec… because… I…"

_I love you!_ My heart screamed.

"I…"

_I love you!_ My whole body was screaming, but the words stuck in my throat.

I took a deep breath and gaining my last strength to say the words out.

"I-I… love… you Ku… do." I whispered as I looked at Conan's face for the very last time, memorizing his delicate face. "Thank you." I smiled sincerely.

Conan's eyes grew wider when he heard my confession, but I'm no longer aware about it. I felt my eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, and the pain in my body was changing to infinite numbness. With a sigh, I could see the years of my life begin to move in reverse, like the clock was ticking backwards. I saw Akemi-neechan, otou-san, okaa-san looking at me with a warm, big smile on their faces.

I reached the end of my life.

* * *

Conan's POV

It had been a year since Haibara sacrificed herself for me.

One year since Haibara confessed her feelings to me.

One year since I realized I loved her.

You might say I'm stupid, and I totally agree. I was stupid, idiot, heartless, anything. Where was I when she was there for me, smirking and teasing me with that sarcastic smile? Where was I when she locked herself up in the basement, making that stupid antidote until the morning come? Where was I when she took the bullet for me, bleeding and dying right in front of my eye?

I was nothing but a despicable monster.

Now I was sitting in the middle of the park, my gaze was looking straight into the sad twilight sky. The night's summer breeze cleared up the sky that made the stars appeared one by one. I smiled bitterly to the endless horizon as I felt warm liquid running down my cheeks.

_Kudo, don't cry_, Haibara's voice echoed in my head. _Don't…_

"I won't," I mused aloud. But the tears just couldn't stop falling.

_Kudo…_

"Haibara," I said, more to myself. "If you could hear me now, will you always be here? Will you wait for me?" I asked. I didn't care if people think that I was going crazy. Maybe I _was_ crazy.

A wind blew softly through my face. I sniffed then continued, "I take it as a yes. I promise I'll be here every day, I'll never leave you and so do you. We're friends, aren't we? And more important…" I pause, my heart dropped a few inches as I tried my best to say it. "… more important is, I love you."

Silence.

I closed my eyes and drew a deep, shaky breath. She felt so close, yet so far away from me. I was so stupid, she wouldn't know it because she had already gone, damn it! I was halfway turning around when another wind hit me. It was cold, but comfortable. The wind seemed to tickle my skin with its little fingers.

_Thank you_, I heard Haibara's voice in my ears. _I love you too, Kudo_.

* * *

**A/N : **AAAH… another sad story about CoxAi -_- I honestly wanted to make a happy ending for CoxAi fans but it didn't work out because my mood was terrible and I wrote it super-duper late (that's my excuse? -_-)

Anyway, I forgot to say my VERY BIG THANKS to everyone who reviews my other story 'Anata Ga Daisuki Desu, Tantei-san', you guys are AMAZING! :D *hugs and kisses*. I'm a newcomer to this fan fiction thing so your reviews and critics are really mean a lot to me. A LOT. I'm sorry if I don't reply y'all, it's been a hectic day and I was just moved to other city so… gomen!

Okay, enough of my rambling -_- I'm waiting for your reviews/favs, even flames! Tell me if it's too short, or OOC, or some grammar errors (I believe they're many -_-), anything. But please, I don't want silent readers :)

**NOTE:**

**Neechan:** sister (usually older sister)

**Otou-san:** father

**Okaa-san:** mother

**Akemi:** in Detective Conan/Case Closed Akemi is Shiho's older sister, but in Japanese the word 'Akemi' means sunset.

**Ai:** Ai is Shiho's other name 'Haibara Ai' and it's written as 哀 which is the hanzi/kanji of sorrow, even though Hakase actually wanted to use this one 愛, which is the hanzi/kanji of love (and as long as I know, the love kanji isn't Japanese, it is Mandarin. But I dunno the sorrow one). Both kanji have nearly same articulation.


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